Once in a Lifetime

I would like to know more about the context of this story.  Why is Hema expressing all of this after what seems to be years apart.  Is she telling this directly to Kaushik or is she simply reminiscing to herself?  If she is talking to Kaushik, what has caused her to be so open?   Kuashik never responds to anything Hema says, which sets a tense mood over the story.  My guess is that Hema and Kaushik ran into each other, much later in life and agreed to meet for dinner.  Perhaps Kaushik was rude, or the two became inimate, which caused Hema to spill all of her memories.  This story feels almost as if it is a rant at first, and then turns into a fond memory.  I would like to know what happens next; whether they become friends or lovers.

Poor Paul

Sang's abrupt departure to England really bothered me.  Throughout the story she had a bad relationship with her husband, Farouk, and very superficial ones with the rest of her suitors from Calcutta.  Her defection excluded one key person: Paul.  Paul was the one person in her life that truly loved Sang for who she was.  Sang instead of seeing Paul as an opportunity for love, left him behind without even saying a proper goodbye.  In many love stories, it is the patient, loving friend who ends up in a romantic final scene.  This is what I was expecting, but once again Lahiri eluded my predictions.

Response to Finley

I agree with Finley that Rahul's parents need to let him foster his passion.  The arts may be a more difficult way to make money, but college is not about letting yourself make money, it is about creating an identity for yourself.  I was at Boston College this pas weekend, and a pastor spoke to the accepted students and parents in attendance that day.  He told the parents that the goal of college should not be so that the child makes money, but that the child emerges happy and with a love for himself, so that he can then use this to serve other people.  At a time when Rahul is looking for happiness, he is instead shut down by his parents.

Rahul's Alcoholism

Although Sudha blames herself for the alcoholic habits of her brother Rahul, it is not her fault.  Handing Rahul his first beer is of no blame.  I blame both Rahul and his parents.  His parents pushed him to maximum lengths to get him into the best college possible.  When Rahul then finds himself at Cornell with a passion for writing and the arts, he is shot down by his parents and told he is wasting their money.  This is one of the saddest parts of the story for me.  College is about finding yourself and creating an identity away from your parents and finding what you love.  When Rahul is shut from his passion, it shows the control that his parents have over him.  I believe that it is this strictness and his own feelings from being so tightly wound that ultimately lead to his alcoholism.

A Choice of Accommodations

The title for Lahiri's third short story A Choice of Accommodations, speaks to the relationship of Megan and Amit.  It appears at first that the marriage between the two is is no longer bounded by love.  At the wedding, Megan Flirts with Ted, and Amit still withholds feelings for the bride herself.  However, as the story progresses, it is clear that the distance between the two is merely "a choice of accommodations."  They still love each other, just not in an all-consuming fashion.  Megan and Amit instead "accommodate" each other's needs while maintaining a comfortable bond between each other.

Hell-Heaven

In Hell-Heaven, Lahiri once again depicts a story of loneliness, and home-sickness.  This story deals with relationships and how they help/hurt the characters cope with their isolation in a new country.  Aparna, the mother of Usha, falls in love with Pranab.  Pranab is her crutch for her transition from Bengali.  When Pranab marries Deborah, it is a Hell-Heaven difference.  Pranab converts from an aid in the new world to an added pain in Aparna's life.  The backwards metaphor "Hell-heaven," immediately struck me as an awkward phrase because the word hell is used first.  In this sense, word order matters.  We subconsciously think of heaven and then hell because goodness triumphs over evil.  In the case of Aparna, she feels more pain than goodness, and sadness and dejectory takes precedence in Pranab's change.  It is "Hell-heaven."

Response to Grace

I agree with Grace that it must have been difficult for Ruma having Dadu reaching out to Akash more than he ever reached out to her.  This must leave her with a difficult realization that her dad loves her son more than he ever loved her.  However, I find this to be untrue.  I think that Dadu's affection for Akash is his own way of showing Ruma how much he loves her.  It must have been uncomfortable for Dadu to have reached out to Ruma after long years of distance.  Akash is a common ground between the two where love can be shown.  Ruma should not feel jealous but rather happy and thankful.

Ruma's Relationship With Her Father

In this first story, the distance between father and daughter and the close bond between grandfather and grandson is a major issue in the tale.  Though Ruma inwardly blames her father for his stand-off ways, it is not her father's fault.  I believe the indifference towards his daughter is for two reasons.  The first is an over-protective mother, the economic I attribute to the Indian culture.  With an overly attentive mother, I see Ruma's father laying off to create a balance.  For this, Ruma is upset.  Secondly, though they now live in Brooklyn, the Indian traditions still played a roll in their relationship.  For Ruma's dad, it was how men treat women in India versus in America. For Ruma, she struggles in her debate for whether or not she should let her father live with her.  These bounds, accompanied with the grandfather's love for Akash, Ruma's son, get under Ruma's skin, especially as she is in a depressed state to start the book.

Indians and Greeks

The first story in Unaccustomed Earth deals with the relationships between father, daughter and grandchild, and how the native culture of the three affect their lives.  The story deals with the father and daughter trying to cope with acclimating to their new life while struggling to let go of their previous traditions.  Ruma's son, Akash, on the other hand has no issue with this new culture; he is immersed in it.  Instead, Akash takes interest in his grandfather's Indian culture.

This story rings very true to me, growing up in a very Greek family.   I bear witness to the dilution of Greek culture and the movement into the westernized world.  However, many of my cousins, including me, have taken special interest in our ancestral traditions.  We love to here the old stories and keep the Greek ways alive.  Greek school, and, like Akash, language is a major part of keeping the culture alive.